A Journey through Treatment and Pregnancy

SpermCenter.com is a free site for very simple things, such as putting in all of the information for characteristics you’re searching for. However, it’s not free to save “favorite” banks or donors. I opted to pay to save my choices. $25 for six months is nothing compared to how much the sperm is going to cost you in the long run.

Once I had in all of the characteristics, I had a list of about 10 donors, and all non-anonymous (meaning the child can opt to find out who their donor was when they are 18 years of age - Rainbow Flag’s rule was different and is not the norm). But who was I going to choose? So I opted for help from my friend in Colorado as well as my sister who lives in Europe. Together the three of us came up with a top four. GREAT!!!! But who the hell are these guys anyway?

On a basic level the sperm banks will give you a minimum amount of information on their donors. If you want more information, you’ll have to pay for it. And it is not cheap! I decided on the full profile, including their adult features as marked by the nurses, their family medical history according to their own personal knowledge (other than the usual STD’s, HIV and genetic deficiencies, the sperm banks do not research whether the information provided by the donor is in fact valid), and whatever pictures were available (can include child and/or adult photos).

Once I had my top four donors I made a decision on who I wanted, and made my purchase from Manhattan Cryobank. For approximately $1200 I purchased 2 vials and the price included shipping in the cool liquid nitrogen freezer.

In making a decision to use a sperm donor I also had to make a decision on where to purchase the sperm. My main concern was that I wanted my child to have the opportunity to know at least the name of their father at some point in their lives. I felt it was cruel that my child would only know only one half of themselves, not the whole person.

One bank I really wanted to use was Rainbow Flag Health Services. Rainbow is a bank located in San Francisco, CA and for anyone wondering; yes they cater to men and women who have same sex relationships. The reason I wanted to use Rainbow was because they have non-anonymous donors (aka known donors), who donate sperm and eggs. Within 3 months of the child’s birth the parents find out the name of the donor, and the donor is obligated to meet the child at least once. I spent a significant amount of time on the phone with the director of the facility and was all set to purchase my sperm from this location, but there was one drawback; New York State does not allow for gay men to donate sperm and will now allow women to use sperm that originated from gay donors. How archaic!!! I understand the HIV thing, but HIV is certainly not limited to gay men only.

So I was back to where I began, finding a sperm bank. The sites are funny and disturbing, you click off on what you’re looking for as if you’re building and pricing a car: Eye color, hair color, race, religion, and so much more. Yet after going through these sites it was becoming difficult to keep up on what I was looking for. While doing some Google searches on sperm banks, I came a across . . . okay don’t laugh . . . SpermCenter.com.

If each sperm bank site is like going to an individual car site to shop for a car, SpermCenter.com is like going to CarFinder.com where every bank in the U.S. is aggregated at one site for “one stop shopping.” Yes, very funny, but still very disturbing. Yet this was my best chance of keeping track of my choices.